


a trio of short oneshots in immediate reaction to 3x18 before i cry myself to sleep

by thesorrowoflizards



Series: random oneshots [8]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec fucked up and I'm not okay with it, Amnesia, Angst, Asmodeous is the fucking worst but he's a master manipulator, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Episode: s03e18 The Beast Within, Gen, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, LITERALLY, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus gets his magic back, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts/Suicide Attempt, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Episode: s03e18 The Beast Within, Unreliable Narrator, kinda alec critical but not like anti or bashing because i still love him ok, look y'all i don't blame alec for everything but i'm mad at him okay?, stop acting like he legit did nothing wrong like. the road to hell is paved with good intentions, thank god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 20:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18483475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesorrowoflizards/pseuds/thesorrowoflizards
Summary: Chapter One: Alec realizes he fucked up.Chapter Two: Magnus asks Asmodeous what he chose to forgot.Chapter Three: Asmodeous revels in his victory.





	1. Chapter 1

 

"Where is Magnus?" Alec demanded.

Asmodeous chuckled, deep voice reverberating around the room. "Why do you care, Nephilim?"

"He's gone missing, no one knows where he is," Alec said. "Catarina can't find him, there's no trace of him.  _Did you do something?"_

"I only did what a good father would do," Asmodeous said, spreading his hands placatingly. "I took him home. After he lost everything he holds dear, what did he have to lose?"

"No," Alec whispered.

"He's happier without you," Asmodeous said, voice going lower with danger. "He was always too good for you."

"Is he okay?" Alec blurted out, then cursed himself for it when Asmodeous grinned, having found his opening.

"He is  _now,"_ he said. "He was devastated, you know--he had no one to turn to."

"--how can you claim to care, you were the one who  _made me--"_

Asmodeous continued on as if Alec hadn't said anything.

"No one at all. Do you know where he was when I found him, Nephilim?"

Something about how quiet his voice was, how satisfied and yet oddly flat, caught Alec's attention, and he fell silent.

"On the edge of a bridge."

He said it softly, voice silky smooth and seemingly unaffected, watching Alec closely for the devastation that surely follow.

Alec's heart fell through his chest to the floor. "...He...?"

"Would have jumped, had I not come. I offered him his magic back, as I promised... and who would I be if I didn't welcome him home? He was homeless, now, after all."

_Thanks to you._

"And well, when he asked me to take his memories of you away... who was I to refuse?"

"...n-no..."

_Magnus didn't remember him. Magnus. Magnus didn't love him._

"And still, I would bet, you are thinking of yourself," Asmodeous said. "You sucked him  _dry,_ shadowhunter. You took and took until he was empty and then you threw him away for the first price I offered."

"To  _save him--"_

"Maybe so," Asmodeous said, smoothly cutting through his words, "But the damage was done. You broke him. I simply repaired him."

"You want him to be what, your  _pawn?"_

"It hardly makes a difference to you, does it?" Asmodeous said. "You will  _never_ see my son again. And even if you did, he would want nothing to do with you. He has no reason to, after all."

"No..."

"It's too late," Asmodeous laughed. "The deal is done. Goodbye, shadowhunter. I won't be seeing you again." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: this is sorta unreliable narrator. i'm mad at alec but i don't think he's like, solely responsible or anything like that so don't come at me being like "uMMMMM alec is PURE AND PERFECT actually he's done NOTHING WRONG" i dont need to hear it


	2. Chapter 2

 

Magnus was disoriented. Confused.

His memories were swathed in fog--he could tell it was partially of his own doing, that it had been consensual--hell,  had left himself residual signatures, traces of emotions and memories (he couldn't remember why but he remembered  _begging_ his father to take his memories of--of something away) so he knew it couldn't just be manipulation.

That he was alone.

That only his father had come to help him.

He'd lost his title (he'd trusted the queen, but  _why_ ) and his home (he'd traded it for a magical transfusion, but--for  _what?_ why had he--what had he given it up for--) and his community (they had turned their backs on him but  _what had he done wrong)_ but he couldn't remember why.

He'd erased something.

Perhaps some horrible trauma, something... maybe something he'd done. 

When he'd asked his father, he'd only received a soft, sad, sympathetic smile. He had leaned into the embrace his father had given him, because despite everything that had happened his father was all he had left and for some reason he felt just starved for comfort--and Asmodeous had said:

"My darling boy. You remember Camille?"

Magnus had stilled, wondering if she'd come back--

"You found someone like her. Someone who pretended to love you. Someone who seduced you and manipulated you and asked favor after favor... I tried to warn you, your friends tried to warn you--"

_I'm so stupid, I never listen, just like with Camille, fell for this bullshit again..._

"--but you insisted. You fell for a shadowhunter of all things."

_A **shadowhunter?**_

"And used you to do terrible things. People died. There was a massacre at the Institute. Valentine returned."

_I... I did that?_

"He used you," Asmodeous said soothingly. "He asked you to give up many things, and you lost many things because of the actions of him and his ilk."

_His magic, his home, his job, his people..._

"And when you had lost everything, he broke your heart and threw you away like trash."

Magnus flinched. That was how it always ended, wasn't it?

"And that's when I found you. You begged me to remove your memories, and seeing you in such pain... I did what I had to."

Magnus took in a shaky breath. "O-okay."

He wasn't sure Asmodeous was telling the whole story. There were too many gaps. But him, falling for someone who didn't love him back, someone who used him for his power and his body until they grew tired of him? It seemed a likely story.

And for now, he was too tired to pick holes in it. He just wanted to rest. Even if it was in the arms of the father he had such a complicated relationship with.

Asmodeous was the only one who was here for him, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asmodeous using this amnesia to twist thefacts and make magnus blame himself for everything? more likely than you think.


	3. Chapter 3

 

All the pieces had come together.

The Nepilihm had played perfectly into his hands, and Magnus had arrived just the right amount of broken for him to mould in his hands like clay.

He even asked for removal of his memories--Asmodeous couldn't have hoped for a better outcome. 

He kept them in a little vial, a symbol of the victory he'd worked so hard to achieve.

His son was home, where he belonged.

And maybe it would take a few hundred years to get him loyal and trained nice and proper again, but eventually, he would be instrumental in Asmodeous's ultimate plan...

**Author's Note:**

> kfkfkgkgkg yeah also real upset


End file.
